I’m behind on posting my noticings and joys and quiet things for September. I am going to try and back date a few to get caught up.
I wasn’t looking forward to today. Church, a meeting at a less than prefered time, more church. It just wasn’t what I wanted to spend my day doing. The weeks are so full, and I know this week will be a hard one. I just wanted to not have commitments today.
But we went to church. Nathan and I taught the 3-4 year olds today. I love them. They don’t have hard questions. They want to hold your hand and sit next to you. They are eager and not too moody.
My meeting at church was for 12:15 which isn’t a convenient time for people who typically go to the 8:30 service and don’t live just minutes from the church. We didn’t make early service so we took separate cars. After sunday school Nathan took the boys and headed to my parent’s house for lunch. I stayed for 11am service.
We don’t go to 11am service. It is a contemporary worship service and it doesn’t fit our family. The boys don’t like the loud music. We aren’t really “hand raisers” when we sing. We LIKE hymns and tradition and quieter in our church service. I enjoy praise and worship music but I feel awkward expressing emotion while singing it. I didn’t grow up in a church like that. It isn’t that I don’t feel moved by the music. Some praise and worship music moves me to tears.
I sat in the back. I knew the songs and enjoyed singing along. I didn’t raise my hands. But worshipping in a different way was nice.
Dean’s name was on the screen for prayer requests. His surgery is this week. So many of our church family have reached out to him and us as a family to say they will be praying this week.
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Mom and I talked for a long time about the changes I am seeing in the boys, particularly Dean. He seems to have hit an emotional growth spurt and we are seeing a much more mature Dean. Not always. But it is there. Emory on the other hand hasn’t hit this emotional growth spurt yet and I think he is feeling a little left behind. I know he feels and senses the shift in Dean and doesn’t quite know what to do with it. Emory is often first, leaving Dean behind. This is new territory.
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Late day church activities involved a trip to an assisted living center to give them handmade soap in honor of Grandparent’s Day. Visiting places like this is WAY beyond my comfort zone. I feel sad about that because they are people and there is nothing to feel nervous about. Dean was nervous too. Strangers. A place he has never been. Those added together make for stress. We hung back. He watched the other kids. He didn’t talk to anyone and didn’t accept hugs. But he also didn’t hide behind me in fear. He was quiet and curious. Another sign that he is changing.
Both boys have decided they would very much like to live in an assisted living center one day. Dean is pretty sure the place we visited is paradise. Emory is now curious about working in a facility as an activity director. He would do well in a job like that.
It’s kind of weird to think about them getting to the age when they might need to live in a facility like that. I wonder what the world will be like 80+ years from now. I won’t ever see them that old. By the time they need assisted living I will be long gone. It’s hard to think about. It’s hard knowing there will come a time when they will be in the world without us. One day I will be in the world without my parents.
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More Than Expected 